Childhood abuse destroys trust.
D.I.D. makes it even harder to heal.
We have an alter identity that pushes everyone away including God. And We cannot reach this “other person” inside just by wishing or will alone.
And right now, this alter is literally kicking, pushing, clawing and flailing away at God. Terrified that God will only want to abuse him like everyone else. It isn’t rational. He is just scared and broken.