Permanently broken?

Nothing pushes your buttons like love and family.

In our case, there is a wedding today.  Involving a lot of people who do not necessarily get along being forced to spend time together.  This ripped the scabs off some old wounds with my children.  Unfairly, old wounds of betrayal and rejection have bled through to color what is going on now.

“I” was cruising along to becoming just one identity.  One part, alter, headmate.  Not without difficulty, but moving steadily that direction.  Then events happened surrounding this wedding that caused the internal split to reassert itself.

Nothing can make you curse like family, sports, or car repair.

The specific issue is so bland as to deserve only indirect comment.  Suffice it to say, though, I am still very much a “We”.

Is God ok with this?  Is this D.I.D. part of God’s plan?

No.

But it is reality.  Like natural disaster.  Like homosexuality.  These are things God did not intend for His creation.  But D.I.D. remains for “me.”  A coping mechanism born from great trial and necessity.  And it seems, permanent in one form or another for my whole life.

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